After our first EPIC ENCOUNTER with ETA Silver G, a west coast based elvis impersonator. I knew that to be able to pull off a sequel it would take an idea so far out of left field that it would either fail miserably or he would actually be dumb enough to make it work. Going into the mission, I gave myself about a 20% chance of success. Now keep in mind that just like most sequels, the plot drastically changes, some characters return, and some don’t. Instead of luring him in like we did in the episode, this time we are taking the fight directly to him. A plan so brutal, that it single handedly throws out all the good that we did from the original post where we exposed him for the deadbeat he is. This one, is a life changer. Who would be the face that would be the bait for an operation so evil?
Met Yulovia Miswagga, Sister of one time youtube trolling sensation ULoveMySWAGGAbitch who was used originally to lure in the G-Man. She is from Victorville California, the same place Silver G grew up and where he still resides. Her current location according to Facebook is New Haven Connecticut. Why New Haven you ask? Because her occupation is director of marketing and talent hiring for the Foxwoods Casino. The Mission: To use a decoy Facebook account to make contact with Silver G and offer him a lucrative contract to perform as an Elvis Impersonator Full time at the Foxwoods Casino.
***FRIEND RQUEST SENT***
Well, that sure as shit didn’t take long. Within about 7 minutes, he accepted my friend request and cranked the creep lever on full blast via the Facebook wall. Also, he also felt obligated to let me know that he works out….
This guy makes Sandusky look like Brad Pitt. If that doesn’t gag a maggot I don’t know what will. So at this point I’m feeling pretty good about things but realistically there is no way he’s going to fall for this. I mean really? A job offer from a stranger on Facebook? So right away he hits me on Facebook chat asking me a bunch of boring ass questions. I try to advert the conversation to see if I can tell him what I do for a living. He keeps fucking rambling on about the biggest bullshit stories ever.
We’ve already confirmed via google maps that he lives in a trailer park by a Bravo Burger and Harley Davidson dealer right off the highway. Also, he drives the same kidnapping van Tony Danza drove in “Who’s the Boss” . I’m Deeply sorry to let you down ladies, but he’s bluffing. Also loved this gem talking about these “special pics” he’s going to send over post workout…
Cool workout, bro. This went on for a couple of days until I was finally able to tell him that I do hiring for the Foxwoods Casino and it just so happens that we are looking for Elvis Impersonators to perform on a normal basis. After I told him this, he didn’t say anything for about 45 minutes. I figured the jig was up. He comes back so excited blabbering how this is his destiny and how this came to him in a dream….. Oh, then he felt obligated…….
TO SEND ME THIS!!!!!
Great Scott, advert your eyes before they burn out of your skull! After dry heaving for about 30 minutes I got right back on topic. I then told him that In order to hire him full time he needs to make an audition video either performing or telling the Foxwoods hiring manager, Mr. Henry Reed about himself and his work experience. Once we receive the video, we can go ahead and make him an offer. Silver G was so excited, that he started posting about it all over Facebook.
Basically, Silver thought he got the job already.
It’s getting kind of awkward now. So after going back and forth for about a week trying to get him to send over an “audition tape” I got nothing and started losing hope. I think he just wanted to brag about the possibility of playing at the Foxwoods. Finally, on a Friday morning, I open my fake email account that I gave him and BOOM, the video is ready to download. Sweet Gold. Now keep in mind before viewing this that he has no real experience at all besides playing at dive bars in Victorville. So obviously he has to stretch the truth, a LOT. Listen to the off the wall stories he comes up with. Worth watching every second. Volume is a bit low, I recommend turning the speakers up.
I wish I could’ve had a “bullshit counter” in the corner to tally up the dreck coming out of his mouth. I love how a wrecking ball was waiting to take down the Grenada theatre until Silver G in full costume, with contacts, runs down and saves the theatre like a fuckin 80′s movie. Notice he also names all the parades he’s “ATTENDED” because you know, it’s hard to be in the crowd of a parade. This is his best performance, EVER! Hmmm Silver G, the musical? I cant believe he made this. How rude of me to think that he was smart enough to be able to detect my bullshit over Facebook chat. I let the G-man know that we LOVED his audition and want to send him an offer. I drafted up an offer letter and had Denman make the proper Foxwoods letterhead. Lets just say we made him an offer he couldn’t refuse. Click Here or the picture to view the offer letter
Wow, thats a heck of an offer! Obviously, within 2 minutes he accepted. So here is the next step…
Oh Jesus. So went down Friday? Well the good news is that he did get a a meeting. The bad news is that it wasn’t with Mr. Reed or Yulovia Miswagga. It was with Reed Rothchild and UloveMySwaggaBitch. At 10am Silver G went to his computer to find an email from the fake email account with the subject line of “Foxwoods Conference call number and overview” When he opened it looked like this.
It didn’t take long for Silver G to reach out to me and trust me, the G-man was in rare form just like he was last time. It’s time to bring out the Compton born, UFC fighting bad ass. I was actually shocked he found my real Facebook account.
So being the nice guy that I am, I accepted his friend request. Just to let him know that their are no hard feelings, I invited him to the debut of our New Clockwork party (EVERY SECOND FRIDAY AT ROCK & ROLL HOTEL) Couple hours later, this gem showed up in my inbox.
It wasn’t until I was coming back from a gig Friday night that I started to get more messages from him. I got home around 7am so it was about 4am Silver time. I’m pretty sure he was shit-faced when he sent me these nuggets. One thing I remembered him telling me is that his ex-wifes name is Laura. So of course I sent him a message back saying that I was going to interview Laura on the blog. In addition, I said I was going to spin kick his head on fire in front of his family….
The reason I didn’t get back to the G-man is because I passed out at the crib. I felt I should respond to him because I would hate for him to think I’m a pussy…. alright, so I am a pussy BUT I gotta keep squirting gas onto the fire.
So thats how it all went down. Silver Garcia went from hero to zero and thanks to the H.O.R. he’s going back up to hero status. Just to get a quick update, Silver joined a band as the lead singer. The band was called “The Crazy Boots Band, with Silver G” They had their debut gig on Halloween night at a sold out theatre venue. I shit you not. I got word from the guitarist sister that they had to cancel their appearance because Silver G never showed. Left them high and dry. The band then went their separate ways. Silver G is still property of the H.O.R. but it would take an epic plan for their to be a part 3 but you can bet dat ass I’m going to try.