A well needed weekend rest for the eyes was in order but now that it’s Monday, it’s time to lace em up and get back on the court. Today and tomorrow’s game features the best of the best thus far and will make things extra hard on the voters trying to send the worst model through. Here is our first model
ALESA VS ASHLEY Wow, just wow. Can’t believe that one of these two ladies are going home early in the 1st round. Both of these girls were odds on favorites to win it all in the HOR GROUP. Make your vote count!
Can’t thank everyone enough for the OVERWHELMING response to March Sadness. It’s been really exciting to the voting and haring people’s thoughts on the models we’ve seen thus far. Yesterdays special battle of the nurses wasn’t much of a battle at all. It was a rout with Belinda making a statement early in the tournament and will most likely get a bye in the second round.
BELINDA 86% F
LISA 14%
Ouch! Not much of a battle but don’t worry because we have 2 heavyweights about to square off today. It’s a good thing we have weekend to recover because these 2 are not fuckin around. Lets meet the visitor…..
ARLENE Noo, no. Mister Griffin no here.
VS JOSIE Glad to see that Nick Nolte can still get contract work. Two disasters are going to slug it out today but sadly, one of these two girls is going home today. Cast your vote for the most busted model.
Please share and spread the March Sadness as we break for the weekend and come back firing on Monday. Bong.
March Sadness has started off fast after our first matchup of Sherlyne and Courtney a game that was close in the beginning but was a route in the second half
Sheryle 57% F Courtney 43%
On to the left region of our bracket, we have Lisa going head to head with Belinda. Bill the Photo guy, grab yo shitty camera.
NURSE LISA
VS NURSE BELINDA
There isn’t enough morphine in the hospital that can cure this trauma. I hope Bill washed the outfit between shoots. 2 Nurses enter, only 1 can advance! Vote for the most busted below.
Several months ago Team HOR discovered internet gold on Facebook that is a modeling portfolio from a page called “Bill the photo guy”. Bill has an eye for photography but what he strides in camera swag, he lacks in finding models to shoot. They make Model Mayhem look like Victoria Secret Angels. Now don’t take this the wrong way, we LOVE Bill. Without him, these photos would have ceased to exist. Although we can kind of raise an eyebrow towards a guy who actively tries to recruit women on the internet to shoot “modeling” pictures for free. But hey, it’s for art right?
Probably not the brightest idea to recruit H.O.R. group members, Trololololol. But enough about Bill, lets see whats in the portfolio. To make things fun for the month of March, we are going to have the first annual H.O.R. March Sadness tournament where YOU the readers will decide who is Bill the photo guy’s biggest disaster model. While the normal 9-5, ham and eggers try to decide if they should put Syracuse or Michigan State in their brackets, you will be helping in deciding who is, the biggest loser. We have a bracket setup where you can play along at home or with other H.O.R. group members.
Rules. Readers will vote via a voting poll on each post. Models will be revealed on the day of match. The model with the highest winning margin on their side of the bracket will automatically get a bye in the next round. If the winning margin is tied, then their name alphabetically lowest wins the tie breaker.
SCHEDULE:
ROUND 1
Wednesday 3/14 Sheryle VS Courtney
Thursday 3/15 Lisa VS Belinda
Friday 3/16 Arlene VS Josie
Monday 3/19 Alesa Vs Ashley
Tuesday 3/20 Amy P VS Ashley
Wednesday 3/21 Kristina VS Amy
The winners of each match will announced the following day. Voting closes at 11:59PM
ROUND 2 TBA
Lets go to the court!
Sheryle It’s the original David Lee Roth, bozadee bozadee bop! Skinny bop!
VS Courtney Put this Vanna White outfit on and head to the woods pronto!
Who has what it takes to advance? Vote for the model you want to win below.
After a successful gambling run to end 2011, I picked up again today for 2012 going 3 for 3 in NBA action turning $50 into $300. Firing right out the gate I decided to lock in my Super Bowl winner bet. I’m so sure of this one I’m going Luniz and putting 5 on it. Sad part is that some of the HOR readers have no idea who Luniz is but I digress. Above is a copy of my wager ticket to show how confident I am in the Giants beating the piss out of the Patriots this Sunday. So just in case you don’t hear from me, Congrats to the New York Giants for winning the Super Bowl and Congrats to whatever African Village that gets a crate of New England Patriots Super Bowl champion shirts and hats (corniest joke that pops up on twitter Super Bowl Sunday). Also, Congrats to me for reaching out and plucking free money out of the internet.
Saw this youtube a couple days ago about a cart in Cowboys Stadium that is also an undercover Decepticon go crazy by running over people at a high school football game. I don’t know why this didnt get more attention because it’s the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.
For those of you who might be shocked about seeing this don’t need to worry because it happens all the time in football. In fact, it happens so often, that Madden includes it in their video games.
Been on the gym grind the last two weeks to the point it’s hard to walk around places in the city. Knees are sore, hamstrings tight and thats just from the fucking sit down bike. Nothing more boring then hearing someone else’s half ass workout so I’ll fall back on that front BUT it all went swirling down the shitter on Sunday.
The weekly assfuck ritual known ass Vikings football continued in full swing along with my bets I put in for the Sunday (see last post). I went to a bar in Bethesda that showed all the games which was the good news. The bad news is that I was sandwiched between loud, hopeless Redskins fans and drunken Green Bay Packers fans. This is my Hell. Three Jameson shots and four Bloody’s later, my betting ticket was crushed because of the Skins and Packers, plus the Vikings had called it a day midway through the 2nd. Despair has won again. Time for some good old fashioned Stress eating. Check out this Burger I created by ordering a Double bacon cheddar burger than ordered a side of fries and onion rings.
That thing stretched my stomach. I stumbled out the bar cussing under my breath because I realized it was another Sunday full of failure and loss. It’s been like this the last 12 out of 14 weeks. I don’t know how but for some reason I got hungry when I got home. ”Shieeeeeet, Hot dogs would be amazing right now” said my inner fat fuck. I got everything out and realized I have no bread in the house. Not even sandwich bread. So I looked in the fridge and got a couple slices of bologna, sliced deli ham, and Mayonnaise. Have to admit, I have been getting upset by peoples hatred for Mayo. Its one of the best condiments out there next to ketchup. I used the Mayo as a glue to keep the bologna and ham together. Grenobled the hotdogs for 55 seconds and BOOM!
Now thats a Ham Dog! Suddenly this day isn’t so bad anymore. The H.O.R. is going full throttle over the next month with events plus working at helicopter propeller arms pace planning all of the great things for 2012.
Feeling lucky this weekend so I’m gonna go big. Fuck wit ya boy and get rich….
In case you’re wondering who I do all of my betting through, it’s Oddsmaker.com Can’t fuckin wait for basketball season to start. As we all know from last year I raked in close to 3k starting from $50 Let get it in! (Looking at you Clippers)
Saw this posted up today on the internet. Probably the greatest thing I’ve seen all year. There hasn’t been shit to root for if you’re a Vikings fan this so thank god former Vikings great Joe Kapp can land a chin shot after taking a cane to the fucking face.
This is my third year writing a Vikings season preview and as you can already tell this years preview isn’t going to have the long, in-depth analysis as years past. Going into the season last year was I full of hope and confidence after being an interception away from the Super Bowl. Being in New Orleans for the game and seeing it happen right before my eyes is something I still haven’t been able to get over. I was just able to pick myself up assuming we would get right back to work and get it right this time. Fuck, was I ever wrong. So instead of writing a detailed preview to this year, I’m going to share with you what life was like for a Vikings fan last year so hopefully then you can understand why I really don’t give a fuck what happens this year.
First off, they had Brett kidnapped from his house and executed in his backyard. They replaced him with what appeared to be a 65 year old all gray haired retired mechanic from Mississippi. Dead. Then Sidney Rice, our star wide Receiver in a selfish move (Drew Rosenhaus is his agent) ops not get surgery in May thinking he was going to get a new payday contract negotiated and waits until August to get surgery which takes FOUR months to heal. Dead.
After a terrible 1-3 start my idol, hero, and long lost dad, Randy Moss is traded from the Patriots returning home to wear the “Freak” started. This was suppose to be the saving grace. A slow start yes, but everything will take care of itself right? Fuck no. In less then one month he’s kicked off the team after spitting in my face and apparently some catering mans face. DEAD.
With the team at 3-6, the implosion had begun. They lose 30-3 at home to the HATED Green Bay Packers. The next morning our coach Brad Childress is shit canned. I didn’t care too much for the dude anyway. He reminded me of Dr. Frasier Crane but more dull which is saying a lot. We are now 3-7 and have no Wide Receivers and no coach. The season is just about DEAD. At this point I’m kind of starting to swallow the reality of the first ten weeks of the season figuring we will just play out the games and who knows maybe win a couple at the dome right?
The Fuck!?
A blizzard hits Minnesota which if you’ve ever been up there that’s not a big deal unless you’re a stadium roof, then you’re fucked. This causes us to have to play a home game at Ford Field in Detroit and a game at the University of Minnesota which isn’t made for cold weather games. Seriously though, who signs off on that!? We want to build a stadium for our Minnesota Golden Gophers football team but lets not have it be winter proof, lets call natures bluff up here in MINI-FUCK-SOTA. Yes, I know the Gophers are in the Big Ten and don’t have games scheduled past late November but don’t you think someone else may want to use it throw some down and out patterns when it gets a little colder? Maybe turn it into an ice ring? DEAD. It was nice to finally see a Minnesota home game outdoors. I was born in 1981 and the Vikings moved into the humpty dump during the 1983 season. Also Brett Favre was ruled out of the game and ended up playing at the last minute. People thought it was a selfish move but if you follow the Vikings like I do, then you would know why he started the game READ THIS STORY AND I GUARANTEE YOU WILL CHANGE YOUR MIND ABOUT BRETT FAVRE BEING SELFISHI thought that was a cool thing to do. The bears couldn’t give a fuck about the kid and probably made him flatline in his hospital bed after this went down…
DEAD. Literally, he never played another down in the NFL. After that night I basically threw in the towel on not just the Vikings, but the NFL. My heart was so crushed that I didn’t want to see another play not caring what uniform it was. To pour salt on what was already a shotgun blast of a wound, I then had to sit there in February and watch my most hated enemy, the Green Bay Packers win the fucking Super Bowl.
It hurt just to upload this photo
Talks of a strike this offseason? Could care less. In fact, I was kind of bummed when they said football was back on.This offseason the Vikings lost their gold digging wide receiver, Sidney Rice to the Seahawks and didn’t even give a contract extension to the best player in football, Adrian Peterson which means he is an unrestricted free agent next year. We could very well lose him too. They brought in a 35 year old Donovan McNabb who just by looking at him makes me think I’m in good shape. So if you want an honest opinion of what my Minnesota Vikings are going to do this year, my answer is, I have no idea. I will never root for them to do bad or throw away a season but the dreams and optimism has been sucked out of me by the events transpired in the paragraphs above. So every week I will sit down on the couch, root the Vikings on, and just hope it’s not a fraction of what I had to go through last year because I wouldn’t wish that on even a Packers fan.
A well needed weekend rest for the eyes was in order but now that it’s Monday, it’s time to lace em up and get back on the court. Today and tomorrow’s game features the best of the best thus far and will make things extra hard on the voters trying to send the worst model through. Here is our first model
VS ASHLEY 
Wow, just wow. Can’t believe that one of these two ladies are going home early in the 1st round. Both of these girls were odds on favorites to win it all in the HOR GROUP. Make your vote count!
