I got this idea the other day to make a pulled pork BBQ sandwich and using grilled cheese as the buns. Knowing this concept has been used before at other burger spots, I decided to up the ante by wrapping the grilled cheese sandwiches in bacon. When you go to eat barbecue on a empty stomach, you want to eat everything on the menu. My vision is to get the experience like I’m a pig eating out of a troth. But instead of eating slops like pigs do, I’m actually eating delicious pig. This sandwich, when being held with two hands, is the closest you can get to eating out of a troth. Probably shouldn’t be sharing my dreams out loud like this….. Using the above items, I was able to construct this beast I call the “Wrathchild”
Put in the oven for 30 minutes and set to 425 degrees
The Aftermath: It doesn’t take a doctor to know I got a pretty bad case of the itis. After laying down hoping not to explode, I passed out for 3 hours. I then spent the next 11 hours sweating and making promises to higher powers (and lower) that I probably couldn’t keep in hopes of letting this sandwich pass through in peace. That is why its is called…. THE WRATHCHILD!
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A lot of people, well ok some people, alright you win, no one has asked me (YET) about how I stay in peak physical condition 365 days out of the year. However, I can assure you after this post you will be kicking yourself that you didn’t ask me sooner. I was in the lab A.K.A. kitchen about to get my get it on with a beautiful thick cut hickory smoked bacon orgy fest. Now the stereotype is that bacon is terrible for you. That rederick comes from the same people who told you Lucky Strikes are hazardous to your pregnancy. These people probably graduated from Cal, drink PBR, and ramble on and on how MGMT sold out to their fans. Some people may refer to them as doctors in the mainstream but people who know the business already know the real term is HATERS. So to make them happy, I formed Voltron by combing diet, exercise, and B. I give you PROCON!
The planned love child of Protein and bacon. You get all the protein, vitamins, calcium, and added energy from a diet protein shake combined with the daily America loving, terrorist killing, football spiking BACON. Look how sexy the first strip is with its end up in the air. Like a high school sweetheart on prom night, pre-restraining order. So how do you make such greatness? Cook one side of bacon, when you flip it over then pour the powder on to the bacon. I used two scoop per strip. They should look something like this.
I can just feel some of you haters out there mumbling under your breath at the monitor “Reed your such a dumbass you have to exercise in order for that to work” HA! step aside, I’m one step ahead of you. I have a gym in my house. Yeah, it actually came with the house. That’s how I fuckin roll. Still don’t believe me? BOOM here are some pictures of my home gym.
It’s a little quiet over there. Look at that, I call it the gauntlet. 7 steps of hell and just when you think your done, 7 more! I’ve seen grown men break down half way through. I wouldn’t wish it on anybody.
So there you go. The lean shake I got at GNC for only $30. After 6 weeks I have lost 0.3 pounds. Probably 0.4 if I take my underwear off
January 15th, The Superbowl has come early this year. The Moombacon Massive was one of the funnest times I had last year sending Summer off properly with a grease orgy of swine and dancing. There was not one single fatality reported which is a success for an H.O.R. party. This time we’re doing the winter edition so we can use the FREE BACON, FREE FRIED CHICKEN, AND FREE RIBS as a tool to fatten us up for the cold 2 months ahead. Kind of like how a Walrus does before swimming down to Antarctica.
The last Moombacon Massive
Glad to have our DC partners in Swine to jump aboard and help up us with the event that being One Love Massive and Ove3kill Entertainment. Please support our friends who make DC Douche Free. So to get you out of the house and into Rock & Roll Hotel we decided to up the ante. This time instead of 20 pounds of bacon, we are going with 30 POUNDS of BACON. We are also having a combination fried chicken from the Red Rooster and a special V.I.P. section (Very Important Popeyes) that we will be giving away leading up to the Massive. Our fam DJ 814ofCourse is going to be laying down his secret ribs recipe that destroyed it last time. Seriously, those joints lasted about 30 mins until they were gone. But of course, FREE CONDOMS, if you’re into using those…. Now that the food tables are set, lets check out what we got on the turntables.
We are going to Crazy with MM next week but PLEASE Mark Your calendars for Sunday January 15th. That MLK weekend so we got off that Monday and Nobody has anything to do MLK Monday except digest and sleep off hangovers.
To kick off the new look H.O.R. I teamed up with Steve Starks and Nacey to create Bacon Cereal while our very own Seannie Cameras shot and edited it. Also, I have to give a shout out to our taste tester, Nora. Without further adieu, *Swizzy Voice* it’s Show Time!
We have many more Cooking with Reed episodes coming later this year. Please feel free to share it around the interwebz, we would GREATLY appreciate it!
Sweet Gregory’s Flute! I didn’t think anything of it when a friend of mine told me he saw signs hanging up in San Francisco that warned of judgement day set for May 21st, 2011. I shrugged it off laughing, considering I’m not even a religious person. As the days are drawing closer, I keep seeing more talk of it on Twitter, Facebook, and other social media outlets. Like most people I’m just going through my usual schedule today looking on google to find a local butcher that sells Wild Boar bacon. I clicked a sponsored link on google that said “All types of bacon, up to 70% off”. Instantly, I thought nothing could go wrong with this link. As soon as I clicked the link it rerouted me to another website as if a hacker took over the Macbook and put in the address manually. What the fuckery!?
In seconds I’m on a site called Lightlife.com, a website formed of veggie hipster revolutionists set out to pollute the swine industry by brainwashing real bacon loving Americans into eating a soy protein isolate, wheat gluten, soybean oil, texured soy protein concentrate. Bacon addicts unite, For evil is upon us.
You can even put in your zip code and it will give you the places and addresses’s of local terrorist cells where you can purchase veggie bacon. Trader Joe’s is a place that harbors Veggie Bacon. Just like a drug dealer they try to lure you in. The Lightlife Company calls it “Smart Bacon” giving consumers a trusting sense that by eating this grounded soy shit, you’re making a smart and healthy choice. Nice try Lightlife, but I know whats smart and healthy! Take this for example….
Those are freedom fries covered in bacon smothered in gravy or as I like to call it, U-S-A. Patriotism will only get us so far because this is an evil of a higher power. On May 21st, we shall be seized and carried off, floating into the air. People who are true to their taste buds will find peace with bacon as the sinners will be left on a dark earth with no sunlight, earthquakes, and veggie bacon. Thanks Lightlife.
If I had only come with this years ago (and I mean YEARS ago), the Alamo might have been avoided. Mexico, Land of the Taco. One of the best tasting foods a human can digest. America (Fuck yeah!), Land of BACON. The greatest food not only in America, but the entire galaxy. I have merged the two as North meets South to create one of the most epic Tacos you will ever eat, El Rothchilito! Here is what you will need in order to play
1 Pack of Bacon
1 quart of Sour Cream
1 bag of shredded cheese
Its time to start cooking our bacon. Remember, don’t pour out any grease for it is our life blood. Once you cook about 8 strips total, remove and place the bacon on a plate.
Once the bacon is removed, place two tortillas into the pan. let it sizzle into the bacon grease giving it that swine flavor that we are addicted to. In the meantime lets get some music going. For the occasion I thought it would be nice to throw a little Moombahton on. Here is a joint from our good friends, Uncle Jesse. This is the perfect soundtrack for the El Rothchilito! since it also has an American soul track merged a latin flavor. Let it ride while you read the rest….
Leave the tortillas in the pan for about 4 minutes then take them out.
Once the tortillas cool down, it’s time to start making a sandwich. Take a couple spoonfuls of sour cream and smear it to cover the tortilla. This is going to act as our glue. Grab a handful of shredded cheese and cover the tortilla with it. Now that we have a steady foundation, take the bacon strips and lay down across covering the entire tortilla. Once thats done, take the other tortilla and place it on top of it. I used a dough roller to evenly crush up the bacon and keep the tortillas together without damaging them which may happen if you use your hands.
Cook the rest of the package of bacon. Once thats done drop the taco meat into the bacon grease and cook. I also threw some the shredded cheese on the meat to let it melt giving it that cheesy taste as well. When the taco meat is finish cooking, apply any seasoning you want and repeat the preparation process for the top of the tortilla with cheese and sour cream.
Put the taco meat on one side and the bacon on the other side. Now you are ready to wrap. as an insurance policy, I grabbed a third tortilla and kept it by the plate because this thing is hard to wrap!
There is the final product. I had to keep my entire hand open just to hold it. You can see the scale as it compares to the pan and oven. It felt like it weighed 20 pounds. The best part of El Rothchilito! is the tortilla bacon sandwich that we first made. This assures you that you’re getting bacon with every bite. Not that hard considering I used an entire pack of bacon. I ate the entire thing in about 20 minutes.
NOW LETS LOOK AT OUR DESERT MENU……
2 Maximum strength Exlax and reduced fat milk (cause I’m trying to watch my weight) I call that the morning after pill. Don’t call a priest or a doctor, call a plumber. Reeds not going to work tomorrow……
If you have any bacon ideas or recommendations feel free to post them in the comments section. Like a mad scientist, I’m always thinking of new ways to work with bacon. If this post makes you as hungry as I do, please share it with your bestest of friends.
I have been on the quest recently to make the perfect bacon wrapped steak. This time I wanted to combine the cozy allure of breakfast to compliment the steak dinner jump off. Going to the bacon weapons chest, I selected Maple bacon to represent the AM side.
First order of preparation is to cook a couple strips in order to have a nice amount of bacon grease that you will later cook the steak in. This also a good mid-cook snack to eat while you’re making the Steakon because these strips are not required to make it. Go on, get your fix.
Here we have our steak on deck coated in a healthy amount of Montreal Steak Seasoning, Garlic powder, Worchester Sauce, and a dab of A1. Get ready to fry!
Put the steak in the pan and cook one side in bacon grease. Your heart will thank me later. Let it cook for about 10 minutes.
Get your multi-task on by prepping the raw Maple Bacon. Lay it out on a regular dinner plate then grab your seasoning weapons of choice.
These are my big 3. The Garnett, Pierce, and Allen of cooking my steaks. A1 Sauce, Montreal Steak Seasoning, and Jim Beam. As you can tell, just like the bacon, I had to get my Beam fix before cooking. Don’t judge…
Once you have everything sprinkled on, give it a good paint brushing that should change the bacon to a fine tan color.
Take the steak out of the pan and get ready to start Mummy wrapping the it in the seasoned Maple Bacon. The trick is to wrap the bacon but have it slightly overlap each other. This way it will stay together better and wont fall apart when you go to cook it.
Keep it together by sticking in a couple tooth pics so it doesn’t fall off the steak. Let it sit for about another 10 minutes before flipping it again. I used a fork to prop it up after I flipped it so I could take the tooth pics out. Once you successfully flip it, let it cook for about another 7 minutes to cook the other side of the bacon. If you’re it right, the pan should have a good amount of bacon grease in it to cook. If you want, give it one more light seasoning application to the top of the Steakon.
Now you are ready to make love to meat & swine immortality. Maple Bacon combined with Steak to form like Voltron to make MAPLE STEAKON! It is one of the greatest combination of taste I have had in a LONG ass time. If you give this a try please take pictures and post it in the comments section below. Any feedback to improve this great invention, let me know!
This is the first picture I posted of my bacon tatts since they were dripping with blood outside of Ghost Town Tattoo shop. Check out my new Sunny side up “Jesus piece”. I was thinking of getting toast tatted on my elbows that way when I get out of the shower in the morning, first thing I’m looking at is breakfast. If only they could make it in cologne form.
A year ago, Jesse Tittsworth asked me to brainstorm an idea to make a hot dog for his club that was set to open in a few months. I wasn’t able to come up with anything because of the limited cooking supplies available but it helped spring an idea for a hot dog that’s almost a year in the making.
The “Dog Child” as it’s called combines my two loves in life, Bacon and Hot Dogs. It also has a couple variations and influences that I acquired from my DJ travels to the west coast. The past couple months I’ve taken things out and added stuff in, but now the blue print to heaven is complete. A video is in the making now as I build this masterpiece. Here is what makes up the Dog Child.
HOT DOGS! one hot dog is an appetizer, 2 hot dogs is a mild snack. The Dog Child requires Six, Hebrew National quarter pound hot dogs. Growing up as a kid, all I ever ate were Ball Park hot dogs. When I lived in Las Vegas the Costco used to sell them by the exit for about a dollar. I’ve been in love ever since. The six hot dogs will be put together almost resembling a chain gun but with my Grandmothers special homemade chili in the middle. I needed something to hold all of that deliciousness and I couldn’t think of a better man for the job than our Lord and Savior, Thick Cut Bacon.
Thick Cut Bacon quilt forms like Voltron to hold the chili Hebrew hot dog chain gun in place. Don’t think the flavor stops there. The quilt will be lightly paint brushed with the love child of Bacon and Mayonnaise.
J&D’s Baconnaise will change your life and it will enhance the Dog Child to the next level. If you haven’t tried it yet then I have to question your bacon credentials. Order Some Now! When designing this I also used a safety first mindset. With that said, to prevent the Hebrew Hot dog chain gun from slipping out of the bacon quilt, melted cheese will be applied to the top and bottom of it with cheese slices, while cheese wiz can be poured into any open space. Since this is just the blue print, my only concern is the bacon quilt staying together with 6 giant hot dogs. The bacon quilt idea I got from the Bacon explosion. If you haven’t had it yet then…….
The bun is going to be on a foot long white hoagie bun. The insides of the bun are going to be smothered in Philadelphia cream cheese. The idea came from when I went to DJ in Seattle. Walking home from the club I found a hot dog stand and noticed the guy putting cream cheese in the bun. It was a head scratcher at first, but once I took a bite, it elevated the hot dog to new levels. This was that hot dog.
This is the final blue print however, nothing is set in stone. I am going to start filming the creation soon but I want your feedback. Anything you think I should change, add, or get rid of, please let me know in the comments section. Thanks!