Tag Archives: bacon inventions

Reed Rothchild Bacon and Exercise Diet

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A lot of people, well ok some people, alright you win, no one has asked me (YET) about how I stay in peak physical condition 365 days out of the year. However, I can assure you after this post you will be kicking yourself that you didn’t ask me sooner. I was in the lab A.K.A. kitchen about to get my get it on with a beautiful thick cut hickory smoked bacon orgy fest. Now the stereotype is that bacon is terrible for you. That rederick comes from the same people who told you Lucky Strikes are hazardous to your pregnancy. These people probably graduated from Cal, drink PBR, and ramble on and on how MGMT sold out to their fans. Some people may refer to them as doctors in the mainstream but people who know the business already know the real term is HATERS. So to make them happy, I formed Voltron by combing diet, exercise, and B. I give you PROCON!

The planned love child of Protein and bacon.   You get all the protein, vitamins, calcium, and added energy from a diet protein shake combined with the daily America loving, terrorist killing, football spiking BACON. Look how sexy the first strip is with its end up in the air. Like a high school sweetheart on prom night, pre-restraining order. So how do you make such greatness? Cook one side of bacon, when you flip it over then pour the powder on to the bacon. I used two scoop per strip. They should look something like this.

I can just feel some of you haters out there mumbling under your breath at the monitor “Reed your such a dumbass you have to exercise in order for that to work” HA! step aside, I’m one step ahead of you. I have a gym in my house. Yeah, it actually came with the house. That’s how I fuckin roll. Still don’t believe me? BOOM here are some pictures of my home gym.

It’s a little quiet over there. Look at that, I call it the gauntlet.  7 steps of hell and just when you think your done, 7 more! I’ve seen grown men break down half way through.  I wouldn’t wish it on anybody.

So there you go.  The lean shake I got at GNC for only $30.  After 6 weeks I have lost 0.3 pounds.  Probably 0.4 if I take my underwear off

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Cooking with Reed: El Rothchilito!

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If I had only come with this years ago (and I mean YEARS ago), the Alamo might have been avoided. Mexico, Land of the Taco. One of the best tasting foods a human can digest. America (Fuck yeah!), Land of BACON. The greatest food not only in America, but the entire galaxy. I have merged the two as North meets South to create one of the most epic Tacos you will ever eat, El Rothchilito! Here is what you will need in order to play

1 Pack of Bacon

1 quart of Sour Cream

1 bag of shredded cheese

Taco Meat

Tortillas

Its time to start cooking our bacon. Remember, don’t pour out any grease for it is our life blood. Once you cook about 8 strips total, remove and place the bacon on a plate.

Once the bacon is removed, place two tortillas into the pan. let it sizzle into the bacon grease giving it that swine flavor that we are addicted to. In the meantime lets get some music going. For the occasion I thought it would be nice to throw a little Moombahton on. Here is a joint from our good friends, Uncle Jesse. This is the perfect soundtrack for the El Rothchilito! since it also has an American soul track merged a latin flavor. Let it ride while you read the rest….

Leave the tortillas in the pan for about 4 minutes then take them out.

Once the tortillas cool down, it’s time to start making a sandwich. Take a couple spoonfuls of sour cream and smear it to cover the tortilla. This is going to act as our glue. Grab a handful of shredded cheese and cover the tortilla with it. Now that we have a steady foundation, take the bacon strips and lay down across covering the entire tortilla. Once thats done, take the other tortilla and place it on top of it. I used a dough roller to evenly crush up the bacon and keep the tortillas together without damaging them which may happen if you use your hands.

MORE BACON!!!!!

Cook the rest of the package of bacon. Once thats done drop the taco meat into the bacon grease and cook. I also threw some the shredded cheese on the meat to let it melt giving it that cheesy taste as well. When the taco meat is finish cooking, apply any seasoning you want and repeat the preparation process for the top of the tortilla with cheese and sour cream.

Put the taco meat on one side and the bacon on the other side. Now you are ready to wrap. as an insurance policy, I grabbed a third tortilla and kept it by the plate because this thing is hard to wrap!

There is the final product. I had to keep my entire hand open just to hold it. You can see the scale as it compares to the pan and oven. It felt like it weighed 20 pounds. The best part of El Rothchilito! is the tortilla bacon sandwich that we first made. This assures you that you’re getting bacon with every bite. Not that hard considering I used an entire pack of bacon. I ate the entire thing in about 20 minutes.

NOW LETS LOOK AT OUR DESERT MENU……

2 Maximum strength Exlax and reduced fat milk (cause I’m trying to watch my weight) I call that the morning after pill. Don’t call a priest or a doctor, call a plumber. Reeds not going to work tomorrow……

If you have any bacon ideas or recommendations feel free to post them in the comments section. Like a mad scientist, I’m always thinking of new ways to work with bacon. If this post makes you as hungry as I do, please share it with your bestest of friends.

-RR

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The Birth of Christ, how to make BACON

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What a treat! Literally and educationally.  How sweet would it be to have the inspectors job at the end?  In case your wondering, this is what the end result in my kitchen looks like.

Don’t let those shitty, passive aggressive, black rim glasses wearing hipster vegans tell you different, Slaughtered Animals are fucking delicious! But to be fair I do actually have some vegan readers so for the holiday season (just this fucking once) this youtube is for you.

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Bacon Explosion

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WIN

Here is my favorite Bacon recipe that is great for any occasion like watching Maury Povich or even Animal Planet. I got the recipe from my favorite website Bacon Today I want to make a video that shows how to make the Rothchild version of the Bacon Explosion and eat the entire thing in 30 minutes.  Here is the recipe, shout out to the great people at BBQ Addicts

2 pounds thick cut bacon
2 pounds Italian sausage
1 jar of your favorite barbeque sauce
1 jar of your favorite barbeque rub
Personally I like to add a pound of cheeeEEEEeeese

A friend of humanity and amazing cook Nicko, gives a great online tutorial. If you do give it a green light please take pictures or video and send it my way. BACON!!!!

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More fun with BACON

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Herbivores, vegans, vegtari… Whatever you call yourselves, this post isn’t for you. This post is for the people who truly appreciate the most holy food of them all. Yes im talking about bacon. Here some photos I found from various places on the web. These aren’t my inventions nor are they my photos. This is just a shrine to it’s gloriousness.

For me? You shouldnt have

This taste great after sex while smoking a Chesterfield

Fear the Turtle!

Why yes, that is the blood of christ

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