Exciting news! Nobody died! But I heard super high cholesterol and clogged arteries are silent killers and something you won’t discover until it’s way too late and you’re lying on a cold hospital stretcher surrounded by strange doctors who have no idea what to do with your fat, dying heart. With that being said, it wouldn’t be Reed Rothchild’s Birthday Celebration if it didn’t include twenty-two pounds of bacon, sixty pieces of assorted fried chicken parts, and racks on racks on raaacks…of ribs. I made it out of Moombacon Massive alive with great news: bacon, fried chicken, and ribs all taste better when they are consumed in the club. Just as I thought. Thank the Holy Rothchild.
Made from 100% Douchebag Tears
Just in case any of us were concerned with a healthy heart, which I doubt any of us were because our brains were sloshing around our skulls in a pool of PBR and Ed Hardy Champagne, we were able to work off a lot of those calories on the dance floor. Lucky for us, Reed Rothchild compiled a super official line-up of some of his dopest DJ friends to keep everything rage-tastic.
DC!!!
Once everyone was well-fed and on their way to optimal intoxication, DC’s Denman (Destination), Baltimore’s Uncle Jesse (Crossfaded Bacon) and James Nasty (Physical Education) built up the night to its pinnacle with some of their finest dubstep, moombahton, and Baltimore club tunes. Then Baltimore’s King Tutt and Scottie B (Unruly Records), Keenan & Smudge (R&R), and Reed Rothchild himself straight killed the latter part of the evening with MOAR BANGERS.
Photo by "Shinny" Cameras
Hopefully we’re all still alive next year to celebrate Reed Rothchild’s born-day with more gr33zy, fried foods. But until then, keep your eyes on Head of Rothchild for more details about our forthcoming Internet Takeover.
More Photos from MOOMBACON MASSIVE ARE HERE
