A lot of people, well ok some people, alright you win, no one has asked me (YET) about how I stay in peak physical condition 365 days out of the year. However, I can assure you after this post you will be kicking yourself that you didn’t ask me sooner. I was in the lab A.K.A. kitchen about to get my get it on with a beautiful thick cut hickory smoked bacon orgy fest. Now the stereotype is that bacon is terrible for you. That rederick comes from the same people who told you Lucky Strikes are hazardous to your pregnancy. These people probably graduated from Cal, drink PBR, and ramble on and on how MGMT sold out to their fans. Some people may refer to them as doctors in the mainstream but people who know the business already know the real term is HATERS. So to make them happy, I formed Voltron by combing diet, exercise, and B. I give you PROCON!
The planned love child of Protein and bacon. You get all the protein, vitamins, calcium, and added energy from a diet protein shake combined with the daily America loving, terrorist killing, football spiking BACON. Look how sexy the first strip is with its end up in the air. Like a high school sweetheart on prom night, pre-restraining order. So how do you make such greatness? Cook one side of bacon, when you flip it over then pour the powder on to the bacon. I used two scoop per strip. They should look something like this.
I can just feel some of you haters out there mumbling under your breath at the monitor “Reed your such a dumbass you have to exercise in order for that to work” HA! step aside, I’m one step ahead of you. I have a gym in my house. Yeah, it actually came with the house. That’s how I fuckin roll. Still don’t believe me? BOOM here are some pictures of my home gym.
It’s a little quiet over there. Look at that, I call it the gauntlet. 7 steps of hell and just when you think your done, 7 more! I’ve seen grown men break down half way through. I wouldn’t wish it on anybody.
So there you go. The lean shake I got at GNC for only $30. After 6 weeks I have lost 0.3 pounds. Probably 0.4 if I take my underwear off
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Brace for impact on Friday because Clockwork at Rock & Roll Hotel this Friday has the “sensation” guest DJing, none other then the pride of Columbia Maryland, Steve Starks Along with the resident Misfits Will 88, Philip Goyette and that awkward drunk Rothchild. The good news is that I don’t have to say much because the homies music speaks for itself. See you at Rock & Roll on Friday, bamas!
