APB: Find Carrie’s Penis

 Meet Carrie. She is one of the most loyal, hardcore ravers I’ve ever come across in my days of Djing.  I first met last year as I was leaving the club which had closed for the night.  The event was sold out online but there were a few tickets were available at the door.  She never got in and as I drunkenly stumbled outside, somehow I engaged in a conversation with her.  She told me the story about the lines being long due to security at the club.  I felt bad considering she came all the way from Frederick to DC so I promised her that I would put her on my list for Summer Massive.

 I was hanging out upstairs on the deck of Bourbon St waiting to go on around 1am.  When I saw Carrie up there, I walked over to say hi and make sure she got in ok.  As I leaned in to say hi, I felt something jab my leg right above the knee cap.  I look down and notice she’s wearing a giant penis to a rave. Fucking amazing. We talked for a bit on the background of the penis and how many raves it’s been to, where it’s traveled, the same way a soccer mom would talk about her kids and going to their games.  Since Summer Massive I would always see pics of her in various photos pop up on my feed and fucking howl laughing at people raging out and Carrie in the corner with a long glow coming from her waist.

 I was saddened by the news that over the weekend, Carrie had lost her penis.  The penis that gave her magical rave powers, was lost.  The majestic piece of Americana was last seen at the Dubtro party on Saturday March 31st at the Warehouse loft, 411 New York Ave  Washington DC.  If you’ve seen it anywhere there or popping up anywhere in the DC metro area please contact CARRIE IMMEDIATELY.  Let’s not lose a piece of raver history.  When I asked Carrie about doing a post for it she told me “Life without it just isn’t complete. I woke up today and instantly felt like a part of me was missing.” Lets not make the glowing penis end up like a Chandra Levy type result.  Please, keep your eyes peeled.  Godspeed.

Use Facebook to Comment on this Post