Tag Archives: more bacon

Reed Rothchild Bacon and Exercise Diet

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A lot of people, well ok some people, alright you win, no one has asked me (YET) about how I stay in peak physical condition 365 days out of the year. However, I can assure you after this post you will be kicking yourself that you didn’t ask me sooner. I was in the lab A.K.A. kitchen about to get my get it on with a beautiful thick cut hickory smoked bacon orgy fest. Now the stereotype is that bacon is terrible for you. That rederick comes from the same people who told you Lucky Strikes are hazardous to your pregnancy. These people probably graduated from Cal, drink PBR, and ramble on and on how MGMT sold out to their fans. Some people may refer to them as doctors in the mainstream but people who know the business already know the real term is HATERS. So to make them happy, I formed Voltron by combing diet, exercise, and B. I give you PROCON!

The planned love child of Protein and bacon.   You get all the protein, vitamins, calcium, and added energy from a diet protein shake combined with the daily America loving, terrorist killing, football spiking BACON. Look how sexy the first strip is with its end up in the air. Like a high school sweetheart on prom night, pre-restraining order. So how do you make such greatness? Cook one side of bacon, when you flip it over then pour the powder on to the bacon. I used two scoop per strip. They should look something like this.

I can just feel some of you haters out there mumbling under your breath at the monitor “Reed your such a dumbass you have to exercise in order for that to work” HA! step aside, I’m one step ahead of you. I have a gym in my house. Yeah, it actually came with the house. That’s how I fuckin roll. Still don’t believe me? BOOM here are some pictures of my home gym.

It’s a little quiet over there. Look at that, I call it the gauntlet.  7 steps of hell and just when you think your done, 7 more! I’ve seen grown men break down half way through.  I wouldn’t wish it on anybody.

So there you go.  The lean shake I got at GNC for only $30.  After 6 weeks I have lost 0.3 pounds.  Probably 0.4 if I take my underwear off

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Cooking with Reed: Bacon Cereal with Starks & Nacey

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To kick off the new look H.O.R. I teamed up with Steve Starks and Nacey to create Bacon Cereal while our very own Seannie Cameras shot and edited it. Also, I have to give a shout out to our taste tester, Nora.  Without further adieu, *Swizzy Voice* it’s Show Time!

We have many more Cooking with Reed episodes coming later this year.  Please feel free to share it around the interwebz, we would GREATLY appreciate it!

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Cooking with Reed: El Rothchilito!

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If I had only come with this years ago (and I mean YEARS ago), the Alamo might have been avoided. Mexico, Land of the Taco. One of the best tasting foods a human can digest. America (Fuck yeah!), Land of BACON. The greatest food not only in America, but the entire galaxy. I have merged the two as North meets South to create one of the most epic Tacos you will ever eat, El Rothchilito! Here is what you will need in order to play

1 Pack of Bacon

1 quart of Sour Cream

1 bag of shredded cheese

Taco Meat

Tortillas

Its time to start cooking our bacon. Remember, don’t pour out any grease for it is our life blood. Once you cook about 8 strips total, remove and place the bacon on a plate.

Once the bacon is removed, place two tortillas into the pan. let it sizzle into the bacon grease giving it that swine flavor that we are addicted to. In the meantime lets get some music going. For the occasion I thought it would be nice to throw a little Moombahton on. Here is a joint from our good friends, Uncle Jesse. This is the perfect soundtrack for the El Rothchilito! since it also has an American soul track merged a latin flavor. Let it ride while you read the rest….

Leave the tortillas in the pan for about 4 minutes then take them out.

Once the tortillas cool down, it’s time to start making a sandwich. Take a couple spoonfuls of sour cream and smear it to cover the tortilla. This is going to act as our glue. Grab a handful of shredded cheese and cover the tortilla with it. Now that we have a steady foundation, take the bacon strips and lay down across covering the entire tortilla. Once thats done, take the other tortilla and place it on top of it. I used a dough roller to evenly crush up the bacon and keep the tortillas together without damaging them which may happen if you use your hands.

MORE BACON!!!!!

Cook the rest of the package of bacon. Once thats done drop the taco meat into the bacon grease and cook. I also threw some the shredded cheese on the meat to let it melt giving it that cheesy taste as well. When the taco meat is finish cooking, apply any seasoning you want and repeat the preparation process for the top of the tortilla with cheese and sour cream.

Put the taco meat on one side and the bacon on the other side. Now you are ready to wrap. as an insurance policy, I grabbed a third tortilla and kept it by the plate because this thing is hard to wrap!

There is the final product. I had to keep my entire hand open just to hold it. You can see the scale as it compares to the pan and oven. It felt like it weighed 20 pounds. The best part of El Rothchilito! is the tortilla bacon sandwich that we first made. This assures you that you’re getting bacon with every bite. Not that hard considering I used an entire pack of bacon. I ate the entire thing in about 20 minutes.

NOW LETS LOOK AT OUR DESERT MENU……

2 Maximum strength Exlax and reduced fat milk (cause I’m trying to watch my weight) I call that the morning after pill. Don’t call a priest or a doctor, call a plumber. Reeds not going to work tomorrow……

If you have any bacon ideas or recommendations feel free to post them in the comments section. Like a mad scientist, I’m always thinking of new ways to work with bacon. If this post makes you as hungry as I do, please share it with your bestest of friends.

-RR

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Cooking with Reed: Maple Steakon

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I have been on the quest recently to make the perfect bacon wrapped steak. This time I wanted to combine the cozy allure of breakfast to compliment the steak dinner jump off. Going to the bacon weapons chest, I selected Maple bacon to represent the AM side.

First order of preparation is to cook a couple strips in order to have a nice amount of bacon grease that you will later cook the steak in. This also a good mid-cook snack to eat while you’re making the Steakon because these strips are not required to make it. Go on, get your fix.

Here we have our steak on deck coated in a healthy amount of Montreal Steak Seasoning, Garlic powder, Worchester Sauce, and a dab of A1. Get ready to fry!

Put the steak in the pan and cook one side in bacon grease. Your heart will thank me later. Let it cook for about 10 minutes.

Get your multi-task on by prepping the raw Maple Bacon.  Lay it out on a regular dinner plate then grab your seasoning weapons of choice.

These are my big 3.  The Garnett, Pierce, and Allen of cooking my steaks.  A1 Sauce, Montreal Steak Seasoning, and Jim Beam.  As you can tell, just like the bacon, I had to get my Beam fix before cooking.  Don’t judge…

Once you have everything sprinkled on, give it a good paint brushing that should change the bacon to a fine tan color.

Take the steak out of the pan and get ready to start Mummy wrapping the it in the seasoned Maple Bacon.  The trick is to wrap the bacon but have it slightly overlap each other.  This way it will stay together better and wont fall apart when you go to cook it.

Keep it together by sticking in a couple tooth pics so it doesn’t fall off the steak. Let it sit for about another 10 minutes before flipping it again.  I used a fork to prop it up after I flipped it so I could take the tooth pics out.  Once you successfully flip it, let it cook for about another 7 minutes to cook the other side of the bacon.  If you’re it right, the pan should have a good amount of bacon grease in it to cook.  If you want, give it one more light seasoning application to the top of the Steakon.


Now you are ready to make love to meat & swine immortality.  Maple Bacon combined with Steak to form like Voltron to make MAPLE STEAKON!  It is one of the greatest combination of taste I have had in a LONG ass time.  If you give this a try please take pictures and post it in the comments section below.  Any feedback to improve this great invention, let me know!

 

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Part Of A Complete Breakfast

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This is the first picture I posted of my bacon tatts since they were dripping with blood outside of Ghost Town Tattoo shop. Check out my new Sunny side up “Jesus piece”. I was thinking of getting toast tatted on my elbows that way when I get out of the shower in the morning, first thing I’m looking at is breakfast. If only they could make it in cologne form.

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Bacon Vagina Gives Birth To A Beautiful Baby Steak

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I admit it. When my mind drifts off, it’s usually bad news. In the time waiting to cook a steak in bacon grease, my mind travels through several different galaxies and the only navigation back is the cooking timer warping me back to planet earth. When the timer went off I blinked, looked down and saw what looked like someone giving birth. It’s kind of like when your flip through the channels past Discovery health and a kid is shooting out of some ladies cunt.

That reminds me when I went to the grocery store to buy this wonderful combination of Steak and Bacon, (Also known as the Reed Rothchild Recipe called “STEAKON”) I approach the line to check out when suddenly Cyndi Lauper “Tru Colors” starts playing over the store speakers. I start to daydream again with my mind quickly traveling through different worlds. Wearing my baller ass Nautica sweatpants, I didn’t even realize that I randomly got a boner for no reason just standing in line at the grocery store. Still looking up day dreaming, with a blank Terri Schiavo stare over my face, the last part of the day dream I remember was walking in Central Park in New York. Suddenly, an overcast came over the sky. As I look down, I see one of the Bernstein Bears standing directly in front of me. By the time I was able to lock eyes with him, he quickly throws shit right at my face. It was at that second I quickly snapped out of my trance however my 4 inches of fury is still going strong. I look to the left and notice a line of about five people deep starring right at me. Each person has a different look of combined emotions on their face. I then realized I was standing at the Self Checkout line and nobody is there to scan my groceries except my intergalactic traveling ass. Damn You Cyndi Lauper.  The End, probably should have kept that to myself but meh….

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Bacon Bikini Contest PART 2!

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In case you missed the first BACON BIKINI CONTEST, it’s one of the most shared post on the H.O.R. alongside the REED ROTHCHILD BACON TATTOO. I was able to find a part 2 of the news report where one of the females speaks up about the event. I feel bad for her since she did the charity event because her son suffers from a heart disease. With that said, I can’t stop laughing when she keeps talking about dancing around in bacon. Also, we finally find out whether the skum bag owner ever donated the money to a charity….Enjoy! (Girls could have used more bacon)

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