Hello yinz Smudge here with a dose of nostalgia sure to get yer blood pumpin. The following is an account of how a boy found his love for women thanks to a fictional race of lizard people. Disturbing as it sounds Im sure alot of you relate. For those of you not familiar with the hit NBC 2 part miniseries turned 3 part miniseries turned regular series, the original V was more than an “invading alien” story. It had many layers of depth to it, the social commentary wasnt evident to me as a 6 year old, but since revisiting the series its plain as day. The sly references to past mistakes of the human race was ahead of its time & the subtle anti-establishment sentiments can be found throughout. Ok, Im getting way too deep here. Lets show a clip that the show is most known for.
Ok Ok insert deep throat jokes here, but seriously as a kid you know that freaked you out. This scene helped introduce 2nd in command, Chief Science Officer & leader of the Visitor Security Diana. For my fellow V junkies, you will remember much to our collective chagrin Diana wasnt in the original that much, but once the 2nd mini series came out she was a main character. Which is what we all had hoped for (and yes dreamed of, I was too young for the wet kind). Once Diana was given more of a spotlight the witty dialogue came rolling in helping broaden Diana’s character & fleshing it out a bit. Ruthless, cold, calculating uber bitch she was. Sadistic, smart and sexy, Im talking lizard sexy here people. You constantly thought she was gonna get her come-upins, but she constantly showed you who was boss. Here are a few clips of her killing bamas, the best is the last one where she shoots the priest. As a kid I was like “oh damn what a badass” and when she shoots the bible I thought I was going to hell for watching it. HA
Now Im sure you are wondering where the boner action comes in and this is the main point behind this post. All coming of age boys have that first girl or woman who turns females from “ewwwwww, gross girls” to “oh damn I want her” and for a 7 year old smudge it was Diana. I wasnt sure what I wanted to do to her all I knew was it was her I wanted to do things too. HA. From her badass ‘tude to her dope 80s hair & make up, to those form fitting red jumpsuits, hell even those blueblocker-esque shades they all wore looked sexy on her.
As the 19 episode series began I was happy to see Diana back at the helm, but she was quickly put in a number of predicaments thanks to a feisty British accented (this never made any sense, aliens w/ accents) antagonist Lydia. Now you may think Im going to tell of some fantasy of extra terrestrial threesomes, but remember I was 7 years old at the time so no. Where Im going is to point out that the awesome encounters between Diana & Lydia were some of the shows best & showcased Diana’s or the actress playing her (Jane Badler) great abilities as an actress. The playful back & forth banter between the two only hightened my love for Diana & raised her from Villainess to a more sympathetic sexpot who was constantly being second guessed, undermined & attacked. Checkout this sexy fight scene between the two. As a kid this scene had me hot, hot, hot! I mean look at those outfits and warrior facepaint for petes sake!
The show was abruptly canned before they could even shoot the final episode, so fans were left in a state of limbo. Upon doing my research for this post I found out a comic was released in place of the final episode sometime later for the diehards. The Diana character was revived for the recent V reboot, lasting a few episodes. Most hope for a V movie or something like it, but I wouldnt count on it and quite frankly wish it to be left alone. I prefer to remember Diana in her original form. She was into sex you could tell, and her inquisitive nature made me think she was always thinking of sex with humans. The subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) sexuality she exuded introduced me to feelings and thoughts I had never yet experienced and for that I am thankful. Diana did infact give me my first boner way back in 1985. I will never forget it.
I will end this post with a few vids pointing out Diana’s ahem, assets. First her killer ‘tude. Check her incredible facial expressions, which to me were her main selling point. Her eyes & the looks she gives, hell even her nostrils are good actors. Second check out a slow-mo perv vid for all my freaks out there. HA.
—SMUDGE over and out
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