If you have a general loathe for humanity, as I do, you aren’t normally wont to pick up your phone. Such was most certainly the case last Friday when the words “Blocked” emphatically shot across my iphone screen. But, sure enough, a moment later another notice heralded the incoming of a new voicemail.
And then, sometimes, the world places HOR posts right into one’s moist lap….
The wobbly and waffling voice that crackled through the line was something like one’s little known drunk aunt who vomits inappropriate family secrets at uncomfortable holiday gatherings. Only this woman certainly was no aunt I knew of, and she wasn’t pointing out gay affairs.
This “lady” was champing at the bit to inform me that I had won some sort of Disney sitcom-esque prize package that included airfaire and a cruise on the lines of my choice.
Interestingly enough, the only name dropped as to the party who I was a “big winner” for, was that of America West, which, when run through the googler, yields, “America West Airlines,” who US Airways ate up in 2006. If that weren’t enough to shake my faith in my amazing luck, roughly two-thirds of the way through the LFO’d out message, I was re-assured that this was not a time share scam, and I had no obligation to make any purchases, (As these traps had not crossed my mind until brought up by the caller, I can’t say this persuaded me to believe otherwise.)
In fact, any foundation of gullibility that makes up my person was crushed due to the stumbling across what surely was an elementary script that repeating verbatim insured job security. In my mind our dear telemarketer surely looked something like this:
Though maybe the empty bottle isn’t as apropos as the odds that this woman was robo-tripping. *HARD*
But maybe my smattering of letters isn’t convincing enough. In which case, don’t just take my word for it; listen to this magical moment yourself, and then decide:
Horror-Draunt or Robo-copped?